Dear Cr-Abby from Torn and Hurt in Illinois

MOM WORKS TO PICK UP PIECES AFTER AFFAIR SHATTERS HER FAMILY

DEAR CR-ABBY: A few months ago I discovered that my partner of 14 years, "Curt," had been sleeping with my 20-year-old son, "Troy's," girlfriend, "Jenna." Our family is crushed at the betrayal; Curt crossed so many boundaries. We have a daughter together, and she considered Jenna her sister. I hurt for myself as well as my son, who can't believe that the man who helped raise him would do this to him.Jenna admits that the affair is half her fault. She had been sending Curt provocative photos of herself. Troy has forgiven her. When he told her he was still willing to work on their relationship, she ended it with Curt.I have kicked my former partner out of the house. No one wants anything to do with him or Jenna. However, I told Troy I would support his desire to repair his relationship with her. I feel I owe it to him after what his "stepfather" did. My problem is, I'm having trouble actually doing it.I am so conflicted! The holidays are nearly here and so is Troy's birthday. While I would like to accept Jenna for my son's sake, I hate her for having so little respect for me and my feelings that she'd have sex with the man I loved. -- TORN AND HURT IN ILLINOIS

Dear Torn in Obama-ville"

Partner of 14 years" is that code for shacking up with a guy and kids from mutliple partners with no legal document?...sounds as if Jenna isnt the only one who keeps her boundaries a tad flexible.

Perhaps a little self examination and introspection might clear your senses enough to forgive Jenna for "doing in Rome as the Romans do". BTW, is her last name Jamison?

My advice, if you want to live your life within certain codes of conduct begin with your own actions and set the example accordingly.

Cr-Abby