Dear Cr-Abby from Brokenhearted in Phoenix

FIANCE SAYS COLD FEET MAY WARM UP A YEAR FROM NOW

DEAR CR-ABBY:

I was engaged for 18 months to "Jerry," a man I wanted to marry. We become engaged after dating for six months, but we had known each other three years before becoming romantically involved.A few weeks ago, Jerry announced that he wants to end our engagement because he is going through a "selfish period" in his life and wants to be able to go out without feeling guilty.I believe Jerry is seeing someone else, but he is adamant that this is only for him -- his chance to be independent. He said he wants me to give him a chance to possibly rekindle our relationship in a year. I don't know if I'm willing to do that. Any advice?

-- BROKENHEARTED IN PHOENIX

Dear Tossed aside near Tombstone,

In every relationship there is an Alpha dog and you ain't it. This one just lifted his leg and took a cold, quick piss on your chest squeezer...inky dinky doo!

You have invested 4 1/2 years with this guy and he is asking for another 12 month sabbatical. I say see his 12 and raise him 18 more months. "I'm going through a selfish period" what crap. That's the self deprecating version of "hey it's not you it's me" and in this case he is spot on.

Now here's the deal,...biologists tells us that every cell in our bodies change out every seven years (not all at once). So, you and he are 63% or so different than when you first met. You only have 2 1/2 more to go and he might be an entirely different person...but don't count on it.

Psychologists suggest (they never tell you anything definitive...the losers) that it takes half the time you had in a relationship to get over it. It sounds as if he has a week in whereas you have the full 4.5 years.

Now we'll have to figure out how to get you through the next 2 1/4 years. First, get busy...volunteer, take up hobbies (like garndening see pic), work out etc. Do anything to minimize your "sitting at home staring at the non-ringing phone" time. Second, take a chance on 4 to 6 guys who you might not ordinarily think of as dating material. They are probably better on the inside than your current narcissist.

Eyes open and straight ahead, no looking back and you'll be the better for it.

Cr-Abby