DEAR CR-ABBY:
I am trying hard to rebuild my marriage. My husband and I have three young children. Four months ago, I met a man (I'll call him "Jack") who made me feel like I haven't felt in a long time. We have not slept together.
We tried several times to stop seeing each other, but unfortunately, my attraction to him was too strong. This week my husband and I separated. I saw Jack this morning. Before things went too far I told him that I had herpes.
Cr-Abby, he practically had a heart attack -- and ended it on the spot!
The thing is, what I said wasn't true. I just could not think of another way to make him stop being available so I could concentrate on my marriage. I feel like such a coward, and I am heartbroken. Not only do I miss Jack terribly, I also can't bear the thought that someone who made me feel so happy would just turn his back on me.
Would there be any point in telling him that I lied, or did I do the right -- albeit cowardly -- thing?
-- WAVERING IN THE SOUTH
Dear Seeing Stars in Bars Near Appomattox,
First things first...Let the dust settle a bit with the soon to be ex-husband before you start jumping into or being jumped on by anyone in a new sty.
Newsflash,...all "new love" feels exciting and fresh...sustainable?...NOT!
Herpes or no Herpes you need to see one doctor or the other kind...you need to take your foot off the gas pedal, drive the car to a safe packing lot and sort out your route before you take the wheel again.
Of course, having been witness to this movie before you will not listen and car wreck #2 and more is right around the corner.
Did I hear you right... You have 3 small children and just newly separated? Get your priorities aligned. Get the kids into a routine of safety and security before you bring home new "daddy candidates".
There are assorted battery operated devices available to help you through the rough, lonely patches while you hit the reset button on your life.
Cr-Abby
PS; Get off Jack and let Jack, Jack Off to Get Off while you tend to matters of more import!!!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Dear Cr-Abby from Trapped in Calgary
DEAR CR-ABBY:
My father-in-law passed away in 2002 and had a friend I'll call "Roy," who was his skiing buddy. This "friend" now comes to Canada every winter for a 10-day vacation. He expects us to drive him to his destination two hours away, over icy roads and at times blizzard-like conditions, leave him there for a week, return the following weekend at night, stay the weekend and then host him for two to three days.
Abby, this is a busy time of year for me. It is not our vacation time. My husband thinks it's no big deal, but I feel differently. I have tried to get my husband to stop this "chauffeur" duty back and forth each year, to no avail. This year, Roy will be spending an extra two nights at our home. I am too busy to entertain, cook meals, etc.
Please advise! -- TRAPPED IN CALGARY
Dear Caged and Cantankerous in Canada,
Obviously your HUSBAND views this man as family (he probably played an important role during his youth as a friend of his father). He may simply view this as paying tribute to his father by tending to his father's friend.
As your husband is willing to do the driving...you are left with only one burden...
...Tolerating a houseguest and serving up a few meals over a 2 or 3 day period.
If you can't bring yourself to do it for your father-in-laws friend, do it for your husband and shut the F*** up! BTW, if it is just too big a burden to clang a few pots in the kitchen...ask hubby for a few Canadian dollars and go fetch grub at a take out!
I suspect your husband tolerates and accommodates all manner of fun folks on your side of the family tree. Judging by your lack of empathy and flexibility I'll bet he just loves it when your mom drops in...not!
Women!,... can't shut'em up, can't kill'em, can't train 'em!!!
Cr-Abby
My father-in-law passed away in 2002 and had a friend I'll call "Roy," who was his skiing buddy. This "friend" now comes to Canada every winter for a 10-day vacation. He expects us to drive him to his destination two hours away, over icy roads and at times blizzard-like conditions, leave him there for a week, return the following weekend at night, stay the weekend and then host him for two to three days.
Abby, this is a busy time of year for me. It is not our vacation time. My husband thinks it's no big deal, but I feel differently. I have tried to get my husband to stop this "chauffeur" duty back and forth each year, to no avail. This year, Roy will be spending an extra two nights at our home. I am too busy to entertain, cook meals, etc.
Please advise! -- TRAPPED IN CALGARY
Dear Caged and Cantankerous in Canada,
Obviously your HUSBAND views this man as family (he probably played an important role during his youth as a friend of his father). He may simply view this as paying tribute to his father by tending to his father's friend.
As your husband is willing to do the driving...you are left with only one burden...
...Tolerating a houseguest and serving up a few meals over a 2 or 3 day period.
If you can't bring yourself to do it for your father-in-laws friend, do it for your husband and shut the F*** up! BTW, if it is just too big a burden to clang a few pots in the kitchen...ask hubby for a few Canadian dollars and go fetch grub at a take out!
I suspect your husband tolerates and accommodates all manner of fun folks on your side of the family tree. Judging by your lack of empathy and flexibility I'll bet he just loves it when your mom drops in...not!
Women!,... can't shut'em up, can't kill'em, can't train 'em!!!
Cr-Abby
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Dear Cr-Abby from Untouchable in NY
DEAR CR-ABBY:
I was pleased that you advised "Remorseful in Georgia" (Jan. 27) to find another outlet for her guilt and "leave the scab alone." I was recently contacted by my fiance's former girlfriend, a woman who had made several attempts to break us up when we first became a couple.
Although she apologized for the problems she tried so hard to cause between us, all it did was dredge the feelings of anger and anxiety up again. She was calling for purely selfish reasons -- not to give me the chance to confront her, but under the guise of "wanting to be friends." Whatever made her think I would want her friendship?!
If "Remorseful" needs a way to rid herself of her guilt, I recommend she get therapy. She may be trying to escape her karma. In my experience, she can run, but she can't hide.
-- UNTOUCHABLE IN NEW YORK
Dear Still Smoldering Apple Fretter,
...and I quote... "She may be trying to escape her karma. In my experience, she can run, but she can't hide."
Yep, sounds like you have this anger thing licked. Yes siree' no inner demons biting at you. You're the model for the Forgive and Forget crowd...NOT
As for Untouchable, I suspect you are a bit less like Eliot Ness and a tad more akin to the guy with the baseball bat...probably shouldn't "do lunch" with the ex-girlfriend anytime soon.
http://moviedeaths.blogspot.com/2008/02/untouchables-baseball.html
Cr-Abby
I was pleased that you advised "Remorseful in Georgia" (Jan. 27) to find another outlet for her guilt and "leave the scab alone." I was recently contacted by my fiance's former girlfriend, a woman who had made several attempts to break us up when we first became a couple.
Although she apologized for the problems she tried so hard to cause between us, all it did was dredge the feelings of anger and anxiety up again. She was calling for purely selfish reasons -- not to give me the chance to confront her, but under the guise of "wanting to be friends." Whatever made her think I would want her friendship?!
If "Remorseful" needs a way to rid herself of her guilt, I recommend she get therapy. She may be trying to escape her karma. In my experience, she can run, but she can't hide.
-- UNTOUCHABLE IN NEW YORK
Dear Still Smoldering Apple Fretter,
...and I quote... "She may be trying to escape her karma. In my experience, she can run, but she can't hide."
Yep, sounds like you have this anger thing licked. Yes siree' no inner demons biting at you. You're the model for the Forgive and Forget crowd...NOT
As for Untouchable, I suspect you are a bit less like Eliot Ness and a tad more akin to the guy with the baseball bat...probably shouldn't "do lunch" with the ex-girlfriend anytime soon.
http://moviedeaths.blogspot.com/2008/02/untouchables-baseball.html
Cr-Abby
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Dear Cr-Abby from Second Time Around
DEAR CR-ABBY:
I am a 30-year-old, divorced woman who is planning to remarry soon. My ex-husband and I are still friendly and get along well. Would it be inappropriate to ask him to walk me down the aisle?
My father is dead, and my mother feels the task should fall to a significant male. I would like to ask him, but I am not sure how he'll react or if my fiance will approve of the idea.
Any suggestions?
-- SECOND TIME AROUND
Dear Secondhand Rose,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snRO__-eWlg
I read somewhere that it is more likely to get struck by lightning than it is for a thirty-something female to get married and have it stick. My advice would be to not tempt these odds further by giving hubby #2 something troublesomne to ponder before the event.
Also, I would avoid carrying any long metal objects in your hand during rain storms until after you get the "I do" done!
Cr-Abby
I am a 30-year-old, divorced woman who is planning to remarry soon. My ex-husband and I are still friendly and get along well. Would it be inappropriate to ask him to walk me down the aisle?
My father is dead, and my mother feels the task should fall to a significant male. I would like to ask him, but I am not sure how he'll react or if my fiance will approve of the idea.
Any suggestions?
-- SECOND TIME AROUND
Dear Secondhand Rose,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snRO__-eWlg
I read somewhere that it is more likely to get struck by lightning than it is for a thirty-something female to get married and have it stick. My advice would be to not tempt these odds further by giving hubby #2 something troublesomne to ponder before the event.
Also, I would avoid carrying any long metal objects in your hand during rain storms until after you get the "I do" done!
Cr-Abby
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