
DOCTORED GASOLINE GIVES THEFT VICTIM MEASURE OF SATISFACTION
DEAR CR-ABBY:
A few weeks ago, I returned home after mowing the lawn at my mother's place and parked my truck behind my house. I left the lawnmower and a 5-gallon can of gas in the bed of my truck and went into the house for a drink of water. When I returned, the gas can was missing.
I bought another can, filled it with gas and added 2 pounds of sugar. Again, I parked my truck in the same spot with the gas can visible. An hour later, it too had disappeared.
A short while later, I noticed a neighbor's son and his friends pushing his car up the street. They said they had "engine problems." My wife thinks what I did was wrong and that I should offer to pay for this lad's engine repairs. What do you think? -- "A-GASSED" IN ILLINOIS
I bought another can, filled it with gas and added 2 pounds of sugar. Again, I parked my truck in the same spot with the gas can visible. An hour later, it too had disappeared.
A short while later, I noticed a neighbor's son and his friends pushing his car up the street. They said they had "engine problems." My wife thinks what I did was wrong and that I should offer to pay for this lad's engine repairs. What do you think? -- "A-GASSED" IN ILLINOIS
Dear Illinois A.G.,
Please find above a letter from one of your citizens who has added illegal elements to our product. As you know we spend billions of dollars to defend our brand and it's reputation in the market place. This blatant defiling of our number one product has caused our image to be damaged in the publics mind.
Also, please find enclosed an envelop for your re-election campaign, we didn't have time to go to the bank and have a cashiers check drafted. We trust that the cash doesn't cause you too much inconvenience.
Anyway, thanks in advance for seeking out and prosecuting this renegade customer who obviously hasnt grasped that being anti-Exxon is anti-American.
Yours Truly,
Lee Raymond (ret.)
ex-CEO Exxon/Mobile
Cayman Islands
ex-CEO Exxon/Mobile
Cayman Islands
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