Dear Cr-Abby from Befriended and Blessed in Michigan

CLOSE FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS START WITH REACHING OUT

DEAR CR-ABBY:

I would like to tell "Friend-Challenged in Glendale, Calif." (Aug. 2) that I have been in her shoes. She needs to make her desire for friendship known to others.
For years I had a pleasant life as a wife, mother and teacher with many colleagues and acquaintances through church and other interest groups. But inside I was desperately lonely for female friendship. No one ever truly "connected" beyond the surface level.
One afternoon I was walking with a colleague and she asked, philosophically, "What do you really need in your life?" I burst into tears and answered, "I need a friend!" We hugged and cried together, and from that moment on, our deeper heartfelt relationship began and widened to include several more women who are solid, there-for-each-other friends.
I am grateful for her insightful question and emotional support. She had no idea that I felt so isolated, and I learned to be more open about my needs.

-- BEFRIENDED AND BLESSED IN MICHIGAN

Dear Go Big (Boo Hoo) Blue,

Not only is your attempt to re-re-advise an Abby writer unwelcome, your advise is ill-conceived. This poor gal wants to join a coven and you tell her to show her weak side. That doesn't demonstrate much knowledge about the dynamics of how these gal guilds operate.

Let's examine the entomology of the phrase "Coven"...

Coven; from the Latin "covetous" or (to covet, desire other peoples' property, life, or perceived advantage). A Group of Witches (called a Coven) does this via a pack mentality. The word "W"itches..was mangled during translation In England. The "W" was dropped and replaced with "B" (like King William being called Bill) and now the phrase is "bea'tch's". Here in the USA we drop the "W" and replace it with an "M" for moron (but I digress). Essentially witches form a coven to cast spells and spread ill-will about other witches.

So, to join a coven you have to have something the coven covets...a better husband, nicer car, better kids, bigger house, better wardrobe, tighter buns, bigger busts etc. Showing weakness to this group doesn't earn you entry, it usually results in being eaten alive.

My advice; tone up, slim down, toughen up and walk your dog around a neighborhood you want to live in some day. Some witch will come out to chat with you and size up your qualifications to join the coven.

Cr-Abby