Dear Crabby from Frustrated Sis in Florida

MAN PESTERED BY EX-WIFE MUST ACT TO HELP HIS SON

DEAR CRABBY:

Parental alienation is a topic I have never seen addressed in your column. It is a problem with many divorces involving children. I think my brother is a victim of it. He lives in a different state than his little boy, but pays child support.
Cr-Abby, his ex continuously harasses him via text messaging and late-night phone calls, accusing him of things she thinks happened when they were together. You'd think she hasn't moved on, but she has a new husband!
She agreed that my brother could call his son twice a week, but she rarely answers the phone during these scheduled "visits." She is now trying harder to keep my brother out of his son's life. She even told my nephew that the presents my brother sent him for Christmas came from her new husband!
My brother can't afford a lawyer right now, but he is moving to Florida in the near future and I would like to help him resolve this issue. What are your thoughts on parental alienation?
-- FRUSTRATED SIS IN FLORIDA

Dear Simmering Sister in Sunshine State,

Crabby has been to this movie, seen the sequel and bought the t-shirt. Alienation has it's enablers (including it seems your ex-sister in-law) but parental separation from a child has one main criminal (the one being alienated). Usually this only happen when the parent allows the cracks that perhaps were started by someone else to grow.
What I mean to say is,...at some point either the father moved away from the boy or the ex-wife moved without the father following or engaging the issue legally. Since you and the ex are both in Florida I suspect daddy moved (probably for a job...I get it).
However, while society still paints the man's primary role as that of money earner, job one is really "being there" for your son/daughter (Crabby has made that bad left turn once before...no mas). I remember one Christmas my ex-asked for an extra $400 so my daughter could have a puppy. I paid and later learned that ex-wifey told my daughter that it was from the new hubby. I was really angry! However on reflection I realize that injury was only made possible because I wasnt there to give it to her myself (despite the evil enabler).
As you are in the same state as your nephew, why dont you assert yourself and nurture a relationship with your nephew and then help get your brother to get his butt back to Dangling Chad-ville.

If ex-wifey continues to pull the same stuff...your brother will be in a better position to engage both legally and emotionally,

Crabby