OVERWORKED MOM GETS ATTITUDE INSTEAD OF HELP FROM DAUGHTERS
DEAR CR-ABBY:
I spent last Thanksgiving weekend with tears streaming down my face. Both my adult daughters spent the holiday with us.
I served dinner to more than 20 people and got no help cleaning up until Friday morning when I had a meltdown and demanded some.
Then my older daughter said, "Sorry," in a sarcastic tone, and my younger daughter responded with, "Anybody mind if I take a shower now?" (My husband works third shift and helps me as much as he can.)
I spent all that day loading and unloading the dishwasher, and putting things back where they belong. My daughters spent the day shopping, visiting friends and watching TV.
I have spent my life trying to make holidays special for my daughters so they would have happy childhood memories. All my hard work seems to have backfired. Instead of wanting to participate in making these memories happen, they have developed a sense of entitlement -- as if I am obligated to do everything. My daughters revert to being children the minute they cross the threshold, expecting me to be their mommy, cook and maid who attends to their every need. I have spoken to them about this repeatedly. They always promise to do better, but never do until I cry.
Please print this. I know I'm not the only mother who suffers this way. Maybe your response can save us all.
-- HEARTBROKEN IN MILWAUKEE
DEAR CR-ABBY:
I spent last Thanksgiving weekend with tears streaming down my face. Both my adult daughters spent the holiday with us.
I served dinner to more than 20 people and got no help cleaning up until Friday morning when I had a meltdown and demanded some.
Then my older daughter said, "Sorry," in a sarcastic tone, and my younger daughter responded with, "Anybody mind if I take a shower now?" (My husband works third shift and helps me as much as he can.)
I spent all that day loading and unloading the dishwasher, and putting things back where they belong. My daughters spent the day shopping, visiting friends and watching TV.
I have spent my life trying to make holidays special for my daughters so they would have happy childhood memories. All my hard work seems to have backfired. Instead of wanting to participate in making these memories happen, they have developed a sense of entitlement -- as if I am obligated to do everything. My daughters revert to being children the minute they cross the threshold, expecting me to be their mommy, cook and maid who attends to their every need. I have spoken to them about this repeatedly. They always promise to do better, but never do until I cry.
Please print this. I know I'm not the only mother who suffers this way. Maybe your response can save us all.
-- HEARTBROKEN IN MILWAUKEE
Your obligation to "serve up" memories is over and clearly your daughters find a way to eat the other 364 days of the year. So I think it is time for you to start a new tradition...
Turkey in Tahiti
Save up and next year you and your hard working hubby should go on a vacation...send out holiday cards that say "Kitchen Closed for Holidays" Merry Christmas!
Cr-Abby
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