HUSBAND'S ANCIENT INDISCRETION CAUSES WIFE PRESENT-DAY PAIN
DEAR CR-ABBY:
My husband and I have been married eight years. Six months before we met, he had a one-night stand with his brother's girlfriend -- now his brother's wife. His brother was present and involved, if you know what I mean. I am no saint by any means, but this is information I wish he had never told me because now I can't stand the sight of either of them.
My husband has never cheated on me or asked me to have a threesome or anything like that. He worships the ground I walk on and is the perfect mate, very sensitive about my feelings. He has told me he wishes it had never happened, and he feels ashamed.
We live in a small town. I see his brother and his wife all the time and, of course, at all the family gatherings. I have to get over this somehow. I know it's in the past and it was before me, but I get so upset every time I see either one of them that I just want to go off. Please help me. -- NOT OVER IT IN TENNESSEE
DEAR CR-ABBY:
My husband and I have been married eight years. Six months before we met, he had a one-night stand with his brother's girlfriend -- now his brother's wife. His brother was present and involved, if you know what I mean. I am no saint by any means, but this is information I wish he had never told me because now I can't stand the sight of either of them.
My husband has never cheated on me or asked me to have a threesome or anything like that. He worships the ground I walk on and is the perfect mate, very sensitive about my feelings. He has told me he wishes it had never happened, and he feels ashamed.
We live in a small town. I see his brother and his wife all the time and, of course, at all the family gatherings. I have to get over this somehow. I know it's in the past and it was before me, but I get so upset every time I see either one of them that I just want to go off. Please help me. -- NOT OVER IT IN TENNESSEE
Dear Gnawing Teeth Near Nashville,
Let's recap...your husband shared with you a story about a singular sexual escapade that occurred 6 months before he knew you were alive. You harbor resentments against him but cut your hubby slack because he plead out and repented. Now you have channeled your anger (well you call it anger,..I call it repressed syndrome) towards your brother-in-law and wife who were equally unaware of your pending appearance on the scene.
Quick Question...did you tell hubby about the time you "experimented" with your roommate at college and/or any other premarriage indiscretions?...yeah, thought not!
Your husband made two fatal errors...
A) Marrying the Shrew and
B) Sharing with you this information.
B) Sharing with you this information.
"He's ashamed it happened"?...Are you high? He isn't sorry it happened, No man regrets a pre-marriage 3-way, unless it involved a sub-par performance with no do-over. He is however sorry he ever told you and now has to walk around family events on egg shells.
All of which speak volumes about his I.Q. Perhaps there are other such stories involving your mother-in-law. That would explain why his family tree is missing a few branches from inbreeding?
Frankly, all legal activity (and some illegal activity) is off limits for any sanctions. Ever heard the term "Ex-Post-Facto" ? (goggle it).
You have no right and I will not abide such trap crap. Go kill the bug that crawled up your butt, Git-r-done and git over it. I have no advice for you!!!
However my metamucil just kicked in and I'm feeling charitable...here's one way to get over it...invite them over for strip poker, shots, and X and share in their trip down memory lane.
Then you can all look sideways at each other across the table this Thanksgiving.
Cr-Abby
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