September 1, 2008
DEAR (CR) ABBY: When my wife sees lingerie she likes in a store, she asks me to buy it for her birthday or our anniversary. The problem is, she'll wear the item only once and never wear it again. She has a fortune in lingerie in her dresser drawer just taking up space.
I hate wasting money. Do you have any advice for me?
– Frederick,But Not in Hollywood
Dear Freddy with no Wood,
Your complaint about your wife's lingerie spendthrift ways misses the point. She is asking you to buy the outfits so that you can enjoy the purchase too. Apparently she is trying to inspire something in you that has yet to materialize. Hence she keeps going back to the same well trying to find the right kind of magic wear/water. She's hoping to find the outfit that will inspire your Willie to transition from a Weeping Willow to a strapping redwood.
Here's how to kill two birds with one RX.
Go see Dr. Feelgood and get some Cialis or Viagra then the next time wifey sends you out to pick up the outfit du jour, she'll think that her outfit was the reason for your renewed interest and staying power. Hence, she will keep that outfit handy as her/your "favorite" and not buy new ones. All you need to do is keep the pills handy when she laces up her knickers.
You'll probably cure her spending. However, its a trade off... you will be trading lingerie purchases for a monthly maintenance medication bill but at least this one really does have something in it for the two of you.
Now git, I have the Widow Jones coming over in a few minutes for errrrrr, uhhmmm, a little tea, yeah that's it tea!
I have my own meds to take.
Cr-Abby
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