Dear Cr-Abby from Texas Mommy

STAY-AT-HOME MOM QUESTIONS SETTING EXAMPLE FOR DAUGHTERS
DEAR CR-ABBY: I married my high school sweetheart at 18 and put off college to start the family that we always wanted. Nine years later, we have three beautiful daughters.
My husband has a great job with a good salary. I have never had to work, but now I feel totally dependent on him. I have expressed my feelings to him about wanting a career. He tells me I already have one -- taking care of the family. He says I need to be at home with them.
Abby, I feel like I should get out of the house and start a career of my own so my daughters don't think their place in the world is to be only a stay-at-home mommy. Don't get me wrong, I love being with and taking care of my girls. But am I doing long-term damage to them by being so dependent on their father for everything? -- TEXAS MOMMY

Dear Longhorn Lonely Loser,

First, quit your whining. Most homes have two income earners not due to a strong and misplaced self-worth barometeric measurement but due to necessity. Second, who says you have to have a career that requires you to trudge off to Mr. Slates rock pile to show your kids your worth. Your letter is short (which Cr-Abby appreciates most of the time) but you have danced around the core issue.

This "my daughters wont be able to strike out on their own unless mommy goose shows them the way" is a bogus assertion. My inclination is that it is your own yearning for something different. BTW, there is nothing wrong with that motivation unless it is driven by a hole in the marital relationship and not a drive for personal experiences.

There are legitimate ways to have a career from home...including snagging Dear Abby letters and writing better responses. You can do that in your pajama's just like I am right now. To be honest, my jammies are around my ankles right now as I'm sitting on the john (my Metamucil hasn't kicked in yet)...but you get the point.

To summarize, you and your family have enough dough to make the monthly nut but you are feeling unfulfilled.

Step one, determine the root cause; is it a yearn for the great outdoors or a nagging feeling n your heart that life on the ranch is missing something, or do you fear the pending empty nest thing.

Step two, think about what you would like to do, and how you can do that and still handle the daily kiddie send off and pick up. Your boredom or cure for low "self-worth" could be cured by art classes, yoga, a fling with the pool boy...your choice!!!

Third, quit the self-loathing,...don't you know there are couples huddle over the same rice paddy picking lice from the grains in order to feed the kid-lets.

Jeez,

Cr-Abby