Dear Cr-Abby from Proud Father in Las Cruces

NEW DAD FACING CHALLENGES CAN FIND HELP ALL AROUND

DEAR CR-ABBY: My heart goes out to "New Father in North Carolina" (July 10), who was asked to baby-sit a 14-year-old boy and now has legal custody of him. A long time ago, a baby was abandoned and left in my care. I made the commitment and the sacrifices, and reaped rewards along the way. I'm proud of the fine person my daughter has become and the way she respects me. Please allow me to share some advice with "New Father" based on my experiences.Ask people for help. Be open about the difficulties you encounter, while maintaining good humor. It will give others an opportunity to volunteer for particular things.Live your values. My own father never failed to correct himself when he learned he was wrong. He never lied, cheated or took unfair advantage. I'm grateful for the examples he set.Above all, listen. Don't shrug things off just because they might not loom large in your own mind. Find out why they matter to your son. He needs to know he'll be treated with respect even if he says something "stupid." Assure him that mistakes don't equal stupidity and that learning to correct mistakes sensibly is one of the most important lessons in life.I hope these suggestions will be useful to "New Father." Although we have never met, this gentleman is lodged permanently in my heart. -- PROUD FATHER IN LAS CRUCES

Dear Papi in Mexico North,

You're a smooth one, you guise a compliment about someone else and then assert your own "Dudley Doright Accolades",...well done. Toot your own horn and people think you aren't patting your own back. Apparently your ole pappy didn't get to that humility lesson in time.

Yeah Yeah, I get it, it's tough out there for single fathers especially those who have a baby dump on the doorstep...like that happens a lot. Your advice would have been more germane if you had addressed events that happen more routinely than a lottery win, or lightining strike.

Like..

."Hi, Uhhhh John, this is Sue, do you remember me? Well, the thing is,...I really don't know how to say this, but when we had that night together after the tequilla shooter contest well, I'm late!"

-or-

"Bill, I just don't feel the same about you as I used too. I've met someone and well he makes me feel like you used to. He has his own business, it is a start up...he cleans pools...he did a nice job on ours and well one thing led to another. So, I'm off to Rio with Pablo. Kiss the kids for me.

Now if you had addressed these more routine scenarios, I'd have more respect for your self-serving Kudo Lob.

Cr-Abby