Dear Cr-Abby from Happy Mom in Chester, VT

DEAR CR-ABBY:

I am a physician and mother of a toddler who understands "New Mom in Las Vegas" (Nov. 4), the woman who is concerned because she finds playing with her 8-month-old tedious. While postpartum depression should be ruled out, it is not uncommon for an adult woman to be bored by endless hours of playing with blocks and rattles. Raising a child is the most rewarding, loving and, yes, sometimes boring job a person can take on. Suggesting that women are good mothers only if they are constantly enthralled with children's activities sets them up for feelings of failure and inadequacy.Getting out of the house for any activity, such as a walk or a trip to the library or store, helps relieve the tedium. Most experts urge new mothers to take personal time away from their children as a way to maintain their sense of individuality and perspective. If reading or going online recharges "Mom," it should not be considered an unhealthy escape. A final word: The new dad should help his partner feel appreciated and practice his own parenting skills by giving her a break from child care. -- HAPPY MOM IN CHESTER, VT.

Dear Fairy Dust Distributor in Havana North,

We men can't catch a break when it comes to the "mysterys of motherhood" and their "coven of co-conspirators"....

First, we either catch the A-train to forced marriage or b) get to sign up for an 18 year stint of monthly payments with no car or house asset involved or get to be the guilt ridden spectator as baby becomes a bag of incovenient bio-hazard waste...or we get this laundry list of life's little pleasures;

We get to listen to 9 months of idle prater as nesting instincts drive endless" tend to me" requests and mindless tribble about the various myths run amok as the preganancy process plays out.

Then we get 3 mos to 18 years of "my life is so hard raising these kid(s)" with medical industry cohorts pushing expensive pills to curb the "evils of postpartum depression" which in turn gives wifey a legitmate excuse to be a bea'tch anytime she wants...as it really isn't her fault.

Meanwhile, mom gets to raise the girl to grow up and be an ungrateful carbon twin of mom resulting in the nagging coming to you in stereo.

Or what's worse,..you fall in love with the new little one and she ensnares your heart more than you thought possible and then she turns 16 or so and smashes your chest squeezer on the rocks of ingratitude.

Hell of a price to pay for 14 minutes of gin-soaked nookie!

Fortunately most of us get to die sooner (usually from a heart attack from all the stress imposed on us) and escape the further insult of being ignore as you waste away in some stinking hole called The Sunny Acres Home for Disposable Dads.

Then mom can gets to share the retirement nest egg you built up with Juan the pool boy!

Yep, you ladies have it tough.

Cr-Abby