Dear Cr-Abby from Frustrated Mom in Virginia

DEAR CR-ABBY:
My son says I scold him so often it has given him a complex. He constantly loses things -- coats, lunch boxes, expensive toys, games -- and damages property such as computers, my furniture, etc. He doesn't do it on purpose. It "just happens" (I think) because he is clumsy and heavy-handed, sort of a bull in a china shop.
He often bumps into people -- including me -- and never says "Excuse me," or even appears to notice. At first I would speak to him about these incidents and make him apologize, but after a while I lost my patience and started getting angry. His behavior has continued through high school.
My son is now 19 and still living at home, and these things are still happening. What am I supposed to do? Sit back and say nothing? This morning we were getting into the car to go to work, and he swung his lunch bag around and hit me in the head with it. It contained cans of soda, and it hurt. When no reaction or apology was forthcoming, I said, "You hit me in the head with your lunch bag," and he went off again about always being a failure and everyone always finding fault with him. -- FRUSTRATED MOM IN VIRGINIA

Dear Mommy Dearest in Cold Harbor,

I think Junior is using the ole,..".Oops, I didn't mean to crack your skull open ploy".

Easy cure here; he says you give him a complex, you say he hits/bumps you inadvertently without notice or apology.

Set him free; code for throw him out and see if his manners or your perceptions improve.

Cr-Abby