Dear Cr-Abby from Anonymous in Texas

DEAR CR-ABBY:
I am a woman with alopecia (hair loss) who has gotten to the point where I now wear a hair-enhancement system that clips onto my real hair to stay in place. I am happy with it. My anxiety over the problem is gone.
However, the clips are metal, and now I'm wondering if I can ever fly on a plane again. I have seen little old ladies with hip replacements stopped by screeners. I know I would set off the alarm at the checkpoint.
Is there anything I can do to avoid this humiliation? Is there any provision for this sort of problem, or is it at the discretion of the airport security? -- ANONYMOUS IN TEXAS

Dear Balding and Bashful in Beaumont,

Sad to say I actually witnessed one of those crackerjack TSA, $7.75 an hour clones wanding a 80 year old woman at O'Hare (Chicago). My jaw dropped when they actually had her remove the wig and you guessed it the bobby pins holding said wig were the wand offending elements.

I wanted to just kick someone's a##...here is a granny who has to go through this crap so that we can have the illusion of safety while someone who couldnt get hired at McDonalds holds sway over her ability to board an airplane to go see the grandkids.

Give BHO a few months and if he doesnt change the drill at the D of H.S. HS (another name I'd like to see tossed on the trash heap of history),...I'd take the train.

Or if you have a bod like the gal pictured above...take out your Gillette razor, Barbasol Shave Cream and Strut your Stuff proudly.

Cr-Abby