WOMAN LONGS TO REALIZE HER DREAM OF FAMILY SISTERHOODDEAR CR-ABBY: I am happily married, but all my life I have yearned for a close and sisterly relationship with my mother and my sisters. We are very different people, but a kind and understanding female relative is what I have always wished for.They send me unsolicited advice, including articles about physical and mental health, diet pills and clippings on finances, etc., but we don't seem to be able to sustain good conversation, with listening or encouragement. I sometimes think people get so wrapped up in trying to "fix" others that they don't see the true beauty that lies within.I have expressed my feelings to them about wishing we could be closer, but was told that sisterly affection is a "myth." Unfortunately, I don't fit in with my husband's family, either. Family issues seem to be the recurring theme of my life. It's depressing. I work full-time, do charity work and have good friends outside my family, but I still long for a closer relationship with my family. Is there a way to let go of old dreams and wishes? With the holidays here, I have difficulty getting through this time without a bad case of the blues.
-- MISSING SOMETHING IN MINNESOTA
Dear Cardiac Void Near St. Paul,
To recap you have old issues with your family, lack of a fit with the in-laws and your question is how can you get a closer relationship with your kin or absorb the void without sadness...am I on the right track?Your family sends you advice and you don't feel the love. Sounds to me as if a little inward circumspection is in order as you aren't accepting responsibility for your loneliness.
My guess is your family is equally frustrated as you refuse to engage/correct your own repelling idiosyncracies which is the genesis for the separation.
Physician Heal Thyself!!!
Cr-Abby
PS; the only thing you are missing in Minnesota is a Super Bowl Trophy
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