SISTER OBJECTS WHEN CALLS ARE BROADCAST ON SPEAKER PHONE
DEAR CR-ABBY: About a year ago, my sister, "Pam," and her husband bought a new telephone with all the features, including speaker, where everyone in the room can hear and contribute to the conversation.
Anytime anyone calls, they automatically punch the speaker button. I learned the hard way one day when I was discussing something very personal with Pam and heard her husband make a comment in the background.
I find speaker phones extremely rude. Pam will do dishes, work in the yard, even walk away to another room while we're talking, and I feel she doesn't give me her undivided attention. I've tried making subtle hints such as, "I'm sorry, but I can't hear you," but that hasn't worked.
Other family members feel the way I do and call her less often because they don't want a group discussion. I miss the private chats I used to share with Pam. Any suggestions? -- MARY IN WINSTON, ORE.
DEAR CR-ABBY: About a year ago, my sister, "Pam," and her husband bought a new telephone with all the features, including speaker, where everyone in the room can hear and contribute to the conversation.
Anytime anyone calls, they automatically punch the speaker button. I learned the hard way one day when I was discussing something very personal with Pam and heard her husband make a comment in the background.
I find speaker phones extremely rude. Pam will do dishes, work in the yard, even walk away to another room while we're talking, and I feel she doesn't give me her undivided attention. I've tried making subtle hints such as, "I'm sorry, but I can't hear you," but that hasn't worked.
Other family members feel the way I do and call her less often because they don't want a group discussion. I miss the private chats I used to share with Pam. Any suggestions? -- MARY IN WINSTON, ORE.
Dear Mary You Little Lamb,
Rather than telling your sister directly that you strongly prefer to speak to her on the phone without the "broad-cast" device, you sit down and write to me...not a very direct line to the solution I'd say!
What is the deal? Was she the older sister and you routinely were bullied? Now you can't stand up for yourself?
Here's what you do...next time you all get together for dinner bring a megaphone and at the appropriate time turn it on and ask her to pass the peas.
She'll obviously ask what the hell you are doing,...and then you can offer a trade;...you keep the megaphone at home, and she can find the mute speaker button on her phone.
Cr-Abby
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