Dear Cr-Abby from At My Limit in Grand Haven, MI

FREELOADER TAKES ADVANTAGE OF COLLEAGUE'S HELPING HAND
DEAR CR-ABBY: Four months ago, a guy I know from work asked if he could stay with me for a few weeks until he finished saving for his own apartment. Two weeks later he was fired from his job. When I told him he could stay, I said I wouldn't charge him rent, but that he would need to buy his own food, toiletries, etc. He did at first, but has since started helping himself to mine.
I have a 7-year-old son who lives with me, and I was recently laid off from my job. I am now living off savings and unemployment, and things are tight.
Cr-Abby, this guy isn't even looking for work. All he does is sleep all day and watch TV. Not only that, he tries to dictate what shows I watch and even turns the channel in the middle of a show when I go to the bathroom. How can I get this freeloader out of here?
-- AT MY LIMIT IN GRAND HAVEN, MICH.

Dear Up to Here in Less than a Grand Haven,
Grab tomorrow's paper and circle the help wanted section then grab the residential section and circle that heading too. Make a really nice breakfast and coffee...serve it to him with the paper.

Then say; Here's the deal...you have 2 hours to get up and look for a job and/or a place. BTW, it's my F'ing remote...if you are here this afternoon you can enjoy what I watch.

I am charging you "x $" per day as room and board...I expect to be paid 2 hours after you get your unemployment check.

Kiss Kiss,

Cr-Abby