DEAR CR-ABBY:
My youngest son, "Trent," is 17. At a very early age it became apparent that he was a gifted athlete. Years of stellar performance in baseball and other sports have elevated him to a high social status -- and it has created a rift between us.
Trent has become unmanageable. He regards my influence, direction and discipline to be nothing more than a daily hindrance. Somewhere in the sports mania, I lost control as a father.
As his only parent (and support), I wonder how many other parents are really aware of the crushing burden and peer pressure these young people experience in the quest for athletic perfection. I have and always will support my son's goals, but I see a disassociation with reality while he revels in his status. A college scholarship is a given.
Is my issue unique? Do you have any advice for me?
-- SPORTS DAD DOWN SOUTH
My youngest son, "Trent," is 17. At a very early age it became apparent that he was a gifted athlete. Years of stellar performance in baseball and other sports have elevated him to a high social status -- and it has created a rift between us.
Trent has become unmanageable. He regards my influence, direction and discipline to be nothing more than a daily hindrance. Somewhere in the sports mania, I lost control as a father.
As his only parent (and support), I wonder how many other parents are really aware of the crushing burden and peer pressure these young people experience in the quest for athletic perfection. I have and always will support my son's goals, but I see a disassociation with reality while he revels in his status. A college scholarship is a given.
Is my issue unique? Do you have any advice for me?
-- SPORTS DAD DOWN SOUTH
Dear Lion in Winter,
As you know, physical maturity and emotional maturity run on different race tracks. Perhaps you made mistakes and perhaps not, but there is only one course of action and it has short term risks but the status quo already has those risks as part of the program. Hence, you have to reach deep down in your diaphram and ROAR.
Your self-respect is only as valuable as your inclination to assert and defend it. You have sway over his life relative to money and while a scholarship and trinkets will abound without your influence and despite them, all college kids need dough/support and nurture.
If he is as good as you say, no doubt a number of sports agents will attempt to supplant your position...just accept that as evitable. However, these same agents and pals are nothing more than fair weather abettors. Watch what happens when there is a career ending injury, or he is beat out by the next Big Man on Campus. When your son has the evitable tough times (there is no escape from life's rain fall) they will be less supportive than you and he will run back. However, you have to show your son that his father deserves respect but loves him for his fame and faults.
In an earlier day, I would have suggested what my 5' 7" grandfather did to my 6' 3" father when he was 17 and feeling uppity...(grandad sent him to the canvas in one blow), but today that only gets you in jail or on the cover of the "Daddy Dearest" tell all biography.
Stand and deliver your terms, stick to them!
Cr-Abby
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