Dear Cr-Abby from Best Friends' Wife

August 25, 2008
DEAR(CR) ABBY: My husband's best friend of 40 years, “Nick,” started dating a woman about a month ago. Nick has been down on his luck personally and financially for several years. He called and asked if he could bring “Hattie” to our home for dinner. We agreed, hoping it would be a good relationship for him.
Within 15 minutes of meeting her, Hattie told me she was bipolar and suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. She has two small children, but when I asked where they were, she changed the subject. Nick doesn't have kids, and he's nearly 50.
When Hattie asked me for something to drink, I offered her tea or soda. She took the soda, then said she preferred beer and wine, and did I have any. I poured her a glass, then she asked for a second and proceeded to drink 2½ bottles of wine.
Later, she told me she had a “headache” and asked if I had anything for pain. I offered Tylenol. No, she wanted something with a “kick.” Needless to say, they didn't stay long after that because she was looking for prescription medication, and we had none.
My husband told Nick that Hattie was not the type of woman he needed. Nick shrugged off my husband's advice of not seeing her anymore. Personally, I don't want that woman at my house again. If Nick calls and wants to bring Hattie around again, how should we say no?
– Best Friend's Wife

Dear BFW,

Why were you surprised by the Guess Who's Coming to Dinner answer?....who were you expecting Audrey Heburn?

Your husbands best friend is down on his luck and you expect him to pull in a graceful swan?

Hey, I get it,...you don't want Hattie breaking into your stash, but who says you have to have dinner in your home. Meet on neutral ground and go dutch. Let Hattie order whatever concoction she can afford to throw down her gullet. I think they call that Dinner and a Show :)

However, if your hubby and friend are going to remain connected, why don't you work on the real issue...your friends' current "marketability and self-esteem" issues.

Paint a little lipstick on this pig and send him out to bring home a babe that can adorn your well appointed and socially appropriate home with out clashing.

Cr-Abby