Dear Cr-Abby from ABS of Sponge

DEAR CR-ABBY:

I am part of a group of people who read our local newspaper online and comment on the news of the day in the public forums provided. It's great fun and offers an excellent place to interact with others.
Some of us have become close, exchanging e-mails and chat messages. One of the women has suggested we all get together at a local watering hole and meet each other, and the gang has agreed.
I would love to join in, but the problem is that the persona I built online is that of a hunky, handsome young man -- including a pilfered photo I posted as "me" on my profile. Needless to say, he is NOT me. I am a 54-year-old, chubby, graying man who wears glasses.
I would love to meet these people, but I'm embarrassed about the lies I have told them. Some of the women have flirted with me, thinking I am this sexy guy. How can I fix this so we can all be friends? I am afraid they'll be angry at my ruse.
-- ABS OF SPONGE

Dear Digital Swan/Analog Duck,

Oh, the tangled web we weave when we aim to deceive...

Chances are your lady friends might have fudged the truth a tad as well but that is expected where as men are not suppose to do so.
Cr-Abby rule of thumb...add 20 pounds and 10 years to any photo of a woman posted on the net, subtract 3 inches from the Willy for any digitgal bragging done by a guy.

I would change your avatar tomorrow and add the "come clean explanation". Have your coming out digital confession and wait a day or two for the responses. Then arrange the "coffee/wine/whiskey" play date" !

What the hec is ASB of Sponge?

Cr-Abby