Dear Cr-Abby from Lyn in Charlottesville, VA

ORCHESTRATED GREETINGS STRIKE SOUR NOTE WITH CHURCHGOERS

DEAR CR-ABBY:

I take exception to your reply to "Minister's Daughter, Cayucos, Calif." (Sept. 8), who objected to the greeting and handshaking moment during church service that is dictated by the minister.I happen to agree wholeheartedly with "Daughter's" sentiments, as do many other members of my church. We feel that the moment is manipulated, interrupts the flow of the service and creates a false bonhomie. None of us is unfriendly, ungracious or reluctant to make others feel welcome in our church. But we would prefer to do it spontaneously -- before or after the service -- when we actually feel moved to make the gesture.

-- LYN IN CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA.

Dear Don't Touch Me I'm Praying,

I get it, church is a function you go through weekly to get your "A" ticket to feel good for the week. You can't be bothered by the riff raft and nevermind that love my neighbor crap...and the cooties....yuch!

Here's a tip, if you don't like such services where you might have to interface with 4 to 6 strangers for 10 seconds...go to the alter during the sacrament and ask for a double dose to kill that bug that crawled up your ass.

Or do everyone in the congregation a favor and find another shallow rite dispensery.

The only people who the minister is manipulating are those with hearts with a huge void.

Cr-Abby