WOMAN CELEBRATES HOLIDAYS QUIETLY AND HAPPILY ALONE
DEAR CR-ABBY: Now that the year-end holidays are here, I find myself once again in the sometimes difficult position of having to explain to acquaintances and co-workers why I don't celebrate them.
I am single. My parents died many years ago, and I have no family. My only surviving sibling and his wife are both alcoholics who drink to excess over the holidays and cause tension in their family. I have attended Al-Anon meetings, and because I refused to look the other way while they were drinking, I was cut off.
Co-workers take time off at Christmas, but I take mine at other times of the year. Over time, I have found that I would rather spend a so-called holiday catching up on correspondence, taking a walk, reading a good book or sewing. Outside of work or professional organizations, I do not do anything about the year-end holidays. I understand the religious and historical significance of these celebrations and keep them in my heart, but do not observe them in a visible manner. This is my choice.
When people ask me what I'm doing for the holidays, it is an awkward moment. How can I gracefully explain that I choose to keep the holidays in my heart only and enjoy the day as a small vacation for myself? -- LONG BEACH LONER
DEAR CR-ABBY: Now that the year-end holidays are here, I find myself once again in the sometimes difficult position of having to explain to acquaintances and co-workers why I don't celebrate them.
I am single. My parents died many years ago, and I have no family. My only surviving sibling and his wife are both alcoholics who drink to excess over the holidays and cause tension in their family. I have attended Al-Anon meetings, and because I refused to look the other way while they were drinking, I was cut off.
Co-workers take time off at Christmas, but I take mine at other times of the year. Over time, I have found that I would rather spend a so-called holiday catching up on correspondence, taking a walk, reading a good book or sewing. Outside of work or professional organizations, I do not do anything about the year-end holidays. I understand the religious and historical significance of these celebrations and keep them in my heart, but do not observe them in a visible manner. This is my choice.
When people ask me what I'm doing for the holidays, it is an awkward moment. How can I gracefully explain that I choose to keep the holidays in my heart only and enjoy the day as a small vacation for myself? -- LONG BEACH LONER
While Cr-Abby applauds your stiff upper lip, living life alone is not something to embrace but to be tolerated. You can't chose your family and can't change the decisions the grim reaper makes but you can nurture relationships/friendships and seek out people who could be your "chosen family". Those friends who earn your respect and friendship and you reciprocate".
Holidays can be depressing times for any of us with the pressures to perform, give, travel etc. Your plan is good that it avoids the "rat race" associated with the commercial side of the holidays, so as to what to say to passers by who inquire as to your plans...you can routinely say..."I plan to avoid the craziness"...and they will no doubt nod with understanding and a small degree of envy.
That said, you need to reach out to the world and not hermit-ize yourself...it isn't healthy and friends can help each other in ways family cannot. Don't void your self of this spice of life AND it comes with the caveat that you get to pick your friends and they you.
Cr-Abby
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment