Dear Cr-Abby from Consumed by Guilty in NY

HUSBAND IS RACKED BY GUILT DESPITE AVOIDING TEMPTATION

DEAR CR-ABBY:

I have been happily married for a number of years. I'm not what you would call "hot" -- far from it, actually. But for some reason, women have always been attracted to me.It doesn't matter where I work, there always seems to be some woman coming on to me. I have never cheated on my wife -- never! I have always told the interested party that I'm married and love my wife and kids, and would never do anything to destroy what we have.About a year ago, my wife and I hit a rough spot. I met a woman who was having problems with her boyfriend. We were attracted to each other and became quite close. We never did anything physically. We never spoke of love, and both recognized that we were only infatuated. My problem is this is the first time I was really tempted. I resisted, thank God, but feel terribly guilty about it. My head says telling my wife would help relieve my guilt, but nothing else. Ultimately, it would hurt her.Because nothing actually "happened," should I listen to my head, or should I go with my heart, which says to tell her everything? This is eating me up inside.

-- CONSUMED BY GUILT IN N.Y.

Dear Eaten Up on the East Side,

Are you a moron?

Only Jimmy Carter got away with this one...remember his playboy interview confession "I have sinned in my heart"? Who the hell hasn't...Jesus was tempted by the devil using harlots. All men "think about it, apparently 60% do it and the other 40% errr uhmm "handle it" differently.

Think about lions...the Alpha male hits all the lionesses because he can. We can't because our lionesses would kill us,...then you'd really be all Eaten Up on the East side.

Don't go there, don't think about it, don't hint to the Mrs. you have any eyes drifting...ever. Even when she asks you...Hey, see that girl over there, she's pretty don't you think? The only acceptable answer ever is..."who, what girl where?" Got it? Learn it, Live It, Love it!!!

Remember Lorena Bobbitt and Johnless John. Women get weird about this stuff.

Do her, do yourself and do the rest of us a favor. Shut your trap and quit thinking all the women at work are "coming on to you". Here's the reality...

The world has such a scarcity of good men, women are attracted to you because they think somehow you are different than the a##hole they have at home. At work, all of us men are only "representatitives" of our true selves. At work we belch, scratch, fart and pick our noses less often and with more stealth. It's this false perception not a reality that they are infatuated with.

Of course, all's fair,...you don't really think the boobs on that gal you "almost step out with" are real do you? These work place mirages operate on an equal opportunity deceit playground.

Go home and fart you a## off and pretend nothing has changed.

Cr-Abby