Dear Cr-Abby from Platonic Soul Mate In Michigan

DEAR CR-ABBY:

I consider my best friend, "Randall," to be my platonic soul mate -- like a brother, only closer. Randall is gay. I am a straight female. We have no romantic interest, but a deep and meaningful love nonetheless.
We have talked about raising children together, but in order to adopt in some states there is a requirement that the parents be married. Our state does not happen to be one of them.
Would it be considered duping friends and family to have a "real" wedding?

-- PLATONIC SOUL MATE IN MICHIGAN

Dear Robbie the Robot wants to play Daddy in Detroit,

I suspect I'll dust up some opposition on this one...

Normally, Cr-Abby would slice and dice you for considering bringing children into an experiment with such unconvention. It is almost a lock that you will set disfunction as the norm to the children's' mental imprint.

However, Detroit has a huge void of "parental units" or more specifically "M.I.A. Dad's w/o VA service/benefits" and there is a need for folks to step in and step up. This might be taking the "it takes a village" phrase to new heights. Replacing that with; "it takes the Village People", or "it takes a Village Idiot" but I digress...

Why not leave well enough alone. You have a nice relationship and now you want to up the ante'.

However, if you are bent on this course...I strongly suggest that you try "foster parenting" first to insure you and Robbie are up to the rigors of parenting. If your experiment works under those conditions then you can go for the long ball or turkey baster if you will. If it doesnt pan out then you haven't inflicted unreversable damage and provided a temporary haven for kids who have seen very little of that.

As for duping the neighbors and family to pull off a charade (which I would argue is the least important consideration of this transaction)...
I ask you these two questions and a bonus round question if you go forward;

1) Are you sure your relationship is not based on mutually need and loneliness abatement?

2) If not, and your love is genuine and long lasting why tar it with a lie?

Bonus) Teaching kids about adult love includes the bada-bing element...if you aren't a committed couple who couples then how do you pull of that little lesson?
I smell trouble on this train but maybe you could do some temporary good for someone(s) while you ferret out who and what you are and what you want and how to love.

Cr-Abby