Dear Cr-Abby from Overwhlemed in Cincy

MOM'S DESCENT INTO ALZHEIMER'S CONSUMES HER DAUGHTER'S LIFE
DEAR CR-ABBY:
My beautiful, loving mother is now in the middle stages of Alzheimer's disease. This cruel disease has robbed her of her memories as well as the ability to reason and function.
She held my hand through every trial and triumph in my life, and I want to support her the way she has always supported me. But caring for Mama is becoming more and more difficult as she drifts further and further away. Not only am I caring for my mother, I also have a career and three children.
I have so little time to myself. From the financial considerations to the behavioral challenges to safety concerns, I can't keep my head above water. Please tell me what to do. -- OVERWHELMED IN CINCINNATI

Dear Over the Rainbow in Bengaltown,

Your mom wiped your ass for 2 years and now it's your turn. (okay got the smart ass poke out of the way) let's get to work...

This has to be the cruelest ailment of mother natures arsenal and no one who hasn't been touched by it's forces can relate. Cr-Abby has been touched by this (although thankfully not yet personally, some might argue that assertion).
First, stop and think about your mother in all of those supporting moments and memories you have before this disease took root.

You must know your mother more than anyone else would not want you overwhelmed by anything, much less anything concerning her. You must decide where your limits are and avail yourself of the support necessary...it is not selfish to do so...YOU ARE SIMPLY DOING WHAT YOUR MOTHER WOULD HAVE WANTED YOU TO DO HAD SHE THE OPPORTUNITY TO RELATE THOSE THOUGHTS BEFORE SHE LOST HER LUCIDITY.

So, follow what your mother's wishes were and are and do what you can but don't create two tragedies out of one. Protect yourself as your mother would if she could. She gave you those skills to protect yourself now use them.

Here is a link I am sure you have already visited,...but now go back there with the mindset of what you can do for you, so that you can do for her. http://www.alz.org/index.asp

Best Wishes,

Cr-Abby on the Soft Shell