Dear Cr-Abby from Solicited in Ohio

COUPLE BALKS AT CONTRIBUTING TO MONEY MANAGER'S CAUSE
DEAR CR-ABBY: Our financial adviser, "Wally," who has managed our finances for a number of years, sent us a letter asking us to donate to a charity he is starting.
We feel like we are being held hostage because he knows how much money we have and how we spend it. We feel Wally has crossed the line of professionalism. What do you think, and what should we do?
-- SOLICITED IN OHIO

Dear "Do You Want to Party?" in Wally World,

Just because the John knows you have the greenbacks to cover the ticket price doesnt mean you have to take Angel out for a ride. Bythe way, many of you folks in Ohio are being solicited by two guys running for Prez. Hang in there the attention you are enjoying will only last another 17 days. Then you'll be forgotten like the rest of us.

Your money manager should be able to advise you as to what percent of your income should go to philanthropic causes to maximize tax benefits but he should leave the driving to you.
Before I give you my final advice, I need to ask you a few questions...
1) How have your investments done recently due to Wally's advice?
2) Are you familiar with the former ambassador of finance from Ethiopia?
You se, I just found out that you have a dormant account in Africa. IN fact if you give Cr-Abbby your name, address, date of birth, SS number and name of bank with account number, I can have 5 million dollars transferred to you. All I need to do is pay a relatively small some to cover the overdue taxes from your interest (about 28K).

So, see you have more dough to toss around and maybe if Wally's investment advice has been helpful you can throw him this tiny charity bone. If not, then I suggest you send this letter to him.

Dear Wally,
Thanks for the opportunity to participate and support your new charity. On further review we believe already "gave at the office". PLease find attached our last statement from your company showing _______losses for the last quarter. As we paid for this bad advice we can only conclude that this was a charitable contribution to a special ED financial advisory program. If you can reverse this trend cover our losses and post some gains, feel free to contact us again at that time.

Yours Truly, Solicited in Ohio

By the way, beware of scams when being solicited for donations. LIke this guy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U74s8nFE7No

Cr-Abby

Dear Cr-Abby from California Poll Worker

VOTERS URGED TO DO HOMEWORK BEFORE THEY GO TO THE POLLS

DEAR CR-ABBY:

I have been a poll worker for years. I would appreciate it if you would print this important advice to voters: Before Election Day, voters should check the sample ballot they receive in the mail for their precinct number and the location of their polling place. Polling places can change for a variety of reasons.

Often several voting precincts are housed in one location. If a person goes to the wrong location -- perhaps because they have voted there before -- it can take considerable time and effort to direct the person correctly. Nearly all these problems would be avoided if people read the information on the sample ballot and brought it with them on Election Day.

Also, the voting booth is not the place to review and make decisions about the candidates and issues. This should be done in advance (another reason for the sample ballot). The booth is for one purpose: to mark your ballot. It is inconsiderate to occupy the space for an extended period of time, especially near closing time.

Poll workers have an extremely long day, arriving an hour before polls open, and often working for hours more after the polls close. A prepared voter makes a great contribution to making the election process a positive one for all concerned. -- CALIFORNIA POLL WORKER

Dear California POLE Worker,

Didn't I meet you at a gentleman's club last year,...are you Bambi Starr? Can I have my wallet back?

I'm joking, I know you said POLL not POLE!

Hey,speaking of wallets... this year the usual research is not necessary (aside from the polling place location info you mention above). You don't have to go to the women's league of voters, you don't have to watch the debates, you don't even need to pick up a newspaper. In essence, this election was especially made for Californians (who usually spend more time on their Horse track Racing Form before betting $2 on Charging Stallion than they do researching the ballot initiatives and candidates before an election.

Simply ask yourself, are you better off today than you were 8 years ago, or 8 days ago or 8 minutes ago?

If not vote for the NON INCUMBENT.

In the unusual case of two non-incumbents running, pick the one with the least amount of time in Washington or Sacramento.

Yep, Cr-Abby's voting for Obama...32 years I have been a Republican and have never voted for a Democratic Presidential Candidate, but it's finally happened. GWB, Mission Accomplished. John McCain, sorry you got hosed in 2000 by GWB in South Carolina and now once again by him in 2008. I was on the bubble but your Palin pick (who would be a decent Pole Worker but is not ready for prime time) and the Bail Out package (that you rushed from your campaign to vote for even after the 150 billion in pork was added) was enough for me to close my eyes, hold my nose and darken the bubble for the other guy.

I'm not sure I can buy this Maverick/Reformer thing. After all since you have been in Congress 28 years you are either ineffective or in genuine as a reformer.

Cr-Abby

Dear Cr-Abby from No Poilitics/Religion Please in California

September 12, 2000
Dear Cr-Abby: I have come to dread family gatherings. My extended family holds a different political perspective than I. It seems like at every occasion they sit around and expound on the good points of their candidate or elected official, while belittling the opposition and ridiculing his or her supporters. I have tried on several occasions to change the subject or tell them I don't wish to discuss politics, to no avail.
Recently at a family party, I sat down with some relatives I hadn't seen in a long time in an effort to reconnect. They soon began their political bashing. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, only to discover that while I was gone they had discussed my political leanings. When I attempted to go to another room, a relative asked whom I was voting for. I said my vote was a private matter -- and the statement prompted peals of laughter in the room.
I would really like to spend time with my family, but with the elections coming up, I feel the need to avoid them. Please assist me on how to handle this. -- No Politics (or Religion) Please, in California

Dear Please Mr. Please (dont play B17),

What are you talking about?
I live in California there is no evidence of competent politics or god-fearing religion out here in the land of fruits and nuts.

We have priests who love little boys a bit too much.

Muff's marrying Muffs and Puffs marrying Puffs.

We have an Austrian Governor who ran as a Republican and serves as a Democrat

We have a 20 billion dollar budget deficit

We have a mayor of the largest city (Bangladesh-East) who spends more time sitting in the make up chair and "pressing the flesh with the press" (if you get my meaning) than he does sitting in the mayoral chair.

Another major city in the North has decided that turning over illegal immigrants to the Feds, even when convicted of a felony, is just a bad idea and that ROTC is an evil program not to be abided on college campuses.

We are being annexed by Mexico

What's there to argue about?

Joking aside, I dont see the problem...53 days to go until the election...do you know how many families in California dont get together at all? You can hide from the kool-aid drinkers for 2 months can't you?

As for me, I'm voting for Teddy (Roosevelt not Kennedy) again!

He is running on the "Dead Bull Moose Ticket (shot by Palin)" and their campaign theme copies the doctors oath..."first, do no harm"...only a corpse can fulfill that promise!

Cr-Abby